I’m absolutely sick of drowning in words right now. And I love words! But I often feel overstimulated in the best of world situations, so imagine my current mental state with the latest onslaught of verbiage and imagery that is permeating my waking hours.

I can’t imagine a more timely occasion to write a post on the importance of managing our “media diet,” a concept I was introduced to by the beautiful and talented Cleo Wade. Cleo is a writer and community builder who shares her own poetry, artwork, and prose to motivate and inspire others to manifest change through a strong commitment, both individually and collectively, to self-care and social justice. New York magazine calls her the “millennial Oprah,” and after reading her most recent collection, Where to Begin (about the ideas, mantras, and poems Cleo says she turns to “when I feel like I am losing it”), I kind of have to agree.

This woman has an amazing way with words and a simple yet powerful approach to cultivating a sense of purpose, power, and compassion (including self-compassion) in her readers - in me! And one of the nuggets of wisdom that really stood out to me in the current vibes of today was her piece on how to create a healthy media diet.

Maybe some of us are struggling with eating healthfully right now (looking at you, vegan junk food), but as Cleo points out, it’s important to remember that food isn’t the only substance we ingest on a daily basis. We are constantly absorbing media through our screens, and for some, our screen time is higher than ever before. Thanks to our hunger to keep up-to-date and feel included, along with a desire to retain some sense of normalcy, we’ve let our media-digesting habits run wild. And though it is very important to stay updated with what’s going on in the world, the key to balancing this information is maintaining a sense of unattachment, and self-control. It’s important to remember just how powerful our freedom of choice is, and we can then make a conscious decision to expose ourselves only to what really matters, what makes us feel good, and what is important to us.

Sick of self-help posts right now? I get you. But if you have a few minutes, I promise this task can be easier than you think and can even provide you with a huge sense of relief. Take a deep breath, ask yourself if you’re ready to make it easier to stay light and positive (it IS possible, I promise!), and then dive in to my virtual ocean of self-love. See below.

hey you, let’s get to feeling good

How do you want to feel right now? Do you want to feel hopeless, scared, unsure? Then the endless drone of the TV in the background, the time you’re spending devouring Youtube news videos, or the mindless scanning of article after article after meme after meme is just what you need.

Sound gross? Yeah.

Would you rather feel aware, informed, light, hopeful, and still capable of experiencing joy? Then it’s time to streamline what you are allowing yourself to digest every single day. Even if you want to keep gnawing away on your quarantine snacks, you can manage your media consumption with just a few conscious changes. And I’d urge you to think of this as a lifestyle shift, rather than a diet (even though I used that word in the title). I hope this mindset of conscious media management continuous with you well beyond the pandemic.

Remember that media is a form of energy. This means that the longer you expose yourself to negative media, the greater the challenge of keeping your thoughts positive. Small, and conscious, doses of media are key. You don’t need to hide in a bubble or be ignorant, you just need to set boundaries. You choose how much and what type of content you want to see in your day, and then adjust your social media feeds, inbox, and web time accordingly.

It’s great to realize that you don’t need to be the world’s leading expert on every single thing that’s going on everywhere. Focus on the facts, not the commentary. Although it is obviously important to listen to medical and health experts who are trained in these areas, remember the facts. Try to distinguish these from any dramatized interpretations of fact.

And how’s your social media feed looking these days? Do you feel uplifted and buoyant when you exit out of Instagram, or drained, wary, and unsettled? This past January, I wrote about the importance of digital detoxing for your mental health and energy. That post, and this one, has never been more relevant. You get to trim your feed to include what you want to see, a direct precursor for how you want to feel. Is there a certain friend’s or rando’s account that makes you feel unworthy, less-than, self-conscious, or that you’re missing out? Trim it out. And try not to let yourself drop into a black hole of guilt or a feeling that you’re not strong enough to fight those feelings of worthlessness. You totally are, gorgeous. You’re just making it way easier for yourself. Why keep inviting those feelings by exposing yourself to those trigger points, when all you need to do is a quick click on “unfollow” or “stop notifications”? You’ll survive without those pictures, I promise.

i had a really hard time a few weeks ago

A couple of weeks ago, I had to get off of Instagram full stop. I was feeling claustrophobic and felt like I was essentially drowning in overstimulation. I was also feeling a bit sick at the time, so I was confined to my room, which led me to seek relief and escape in my phone. There was too much, too much, too much. So I put a FULL block on the app using the settings in my iPhone. A few days later, I eased up on these restrictions, and for some reason decided that 6 minutes per day seemed like the perfect starting point for me to wean myself off of the mindless habit of opening Instagram to distract my mind. After 6 minutes, my phone reminds me I’ve used up my allotment for the day and the app becomes grayed out on your home screen. Even though you can choose to “ignore” the limit after the time allotment is up, it’s still a conscious reminder of “Oh, wow, okay, I’ve already spent x amount of time on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat today. Time to find another activity.”

I’m not saying you have to go so extreme as to get off of social media completely. That’s just what I needed that week, and I recognized that and took action. Just pay extra attention to any twinges of fear, anxiety, frustration, or jealousy that you feel when you see a certain post. Then ditch that account. DITCH it. It’s not worth it. Think about creating a media diet that doesn’t trigger your insecurities and prey on your fears.

And pay special attention to the posts that make you laugh. The ones that make you feel lighter, grateful, hopeful. Fill your feed with these positive messages and the positive feelings will follow. Maybe take it a step further and contribute positive messages, if you’re feeling up for it. We get out of things what we put into them. So focus on positivity.

Not really sure what a positive social media account looks like? Remember, the digital world can be a beautiful space to spread messages of hope and positivity if you choose to exist in that version of it. Here are some of my favorite Instagram accounts:

• Gabby Bernstein - Self-Love and Spirituality

• We’re Not Really Strangers - “a purpose driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections”

• Are You OK Campaign - mental health

lost? here’s where you can start

I wanted to share what works for my media diet in case you need a place to start. This might not look like your ideal media diet, though, and that’s perfectly okay. Tailor it to what you need and your tolerance thresholds. I have a lot of anxiety right now that’s been getting triggered easily, so my balance between negative and positive media, and lots of social media time vs. not a lot, is leaning way towards the not a lot, positive side. I’m just trying to make it easy on myself!

1) don’t read the news as your very First activity in the morning

I’ve got my phone in airplane mode all night (I still use it as my alarm because I love my Sleep Cycle app), so I don’t wake up to a barrage of notifications. I’ll get out of bed, stretch, pee, drink lots of water, and return to my room to meditate and do my morning journal sesh, courtesy of Gabby Bernstein.

I then might read a bit from whatever book I’ve got going, play some Animal Crossing, watch the birds outside, just something simple to ease me into the day. THEN I get my coffee and sit down for my daily dose of news.

I’ll go straight to my e-mail, skipping social media. I’ve been using theSkimm newsletter for five years now as a fun, straightforward way to get the gist of the day’s news headlines. It’s designed for millennial women, and I enjoy their prose and the way they remember to poke fun at some of the crazy stuff that’s happening.

Secondly, my dad’s gotten me started on the New York Times morning briefing email. I’ve really been enjoying their synopsis of current events, their focus on the facts, and the variety of topics they choose to report on. It’s not all corona, all the time. I also like their tone, so give it a try if you’re looking for a reliable news source that’s widely respected.

And that’s it…those two newsletters constitute my daily news dose, in all of 10-15 minutes. My family might talk about some of the events or headlines around dinner that evening, but I’m not dwelling or revisiting them regularly throughout my day. I’ve become aware of updates, and then I move on with my day.

2) take a non-judgemental look at your Social Media Use

The importance of staying connected with friends and family cannot be stressed enough during this time. For many of us, it’s vital to our sense of community. And I totally understand that. But to make it easier to manage the sheer mass of connectivity options, I’m trying to steer my “screen time” away from the scrolling apps and more toward the call/chat apps. FaceTime, Marco Polo, WhatsApp, Messenger…the use of those apps is what help me feel alive, loved, connected. I get to talk with someone that I have to consciously contact by selecting their name, or picking up their call. I’m not having a one-sided conversation with their social media self, a persona that we pretty much create for them with our mind and assumptions. How often do you actually feel more connected to someone just because you’ve seen a photo of their breakfast or the hike they went on with their dog last week? Call them instead.

This is a time for real, “virtual in-person” conversations. And I’m trying to have more of them. Don’t judge yourself for spending a lot of time on a certain app. If doing so truly makes you feel happy and ready to take on the world, then maybe it’s working for you! But if you find that doing so overwhelms you with the never-ending flow of chatter, remember that you’re in control. Recognize that what works for one person doesn’t necessarily need to work for you. You’re designing your own media diet.

And if you find yourself with more time on your hands thanks to your new media management, check out one of my last posts on meaningful ways to spend your time in isolation.

When you realize that there is no one account, no one person, no one news outlet worth making you feel bad about yourself or your life, it’s easier to stop letting it do so. You can take a few conscious steps right now to unsubscribe from an overwhelming amount of news updates - just choose a couple. Maybe put a time limit on your social media apps, or at the very least become aware of the accounts you don’t really need to be following.

Remember that is okay to start small. Just take the step. Put the car in drive. The Universe, God (whatever your preferred definition of the divine) is ready to take over from there :)

I love you all. If you have any other ideas for a conscious digital detox and media diet, or want to share what’s working for you, comment below!

Love,

Lauren

P.S. I have to share the story of how I got Cleo’s book. My birthday was a week and a half ago, and I was feeling a little bit sad and lonely about having it in isolation at home. Luckily, the day was filled with loving and meaningful phone and FaceTime calls with family and friends. The icing on the cake was when one of my good friends Kristina drove 45 minutes to my house just to drop off a bottle of sparkling red wine, a vegan cupcake, and Cleo’s book as a birthday present. Even though we couldn’t hug and I couldn’t invite her in thanks to the self-distancing thing, I could feel her love and her compassion radiating from her. It was so, so beautiful. Love you Kristina!

Remember, those acts of kindness can go a really long way to make someone’s day :)

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